When Jealousy Points the Way
Nov 19, 2025
When Jealousy Points the Way
A few years ago, I was scrolling through LinkedIn when I saw a post about a woman who’d just been promoted to an executive role at a major company. Her photo looked polished, her caption full of confidence. Everyone was congratulating her. I remember feeling a sharp twinge in my chest — jealousy.
I didn’t want to admit it. I told myself all the usual stories: “She probably works 80 hours a week,” “She’s lucky,” “I’m not even sure I’d want that job.” But underneath those excuses was something uncomfortable — a truth I didn’t want to touch. Her success triggered me because it represented something I secretly wanted but hadn’t yet allowed myself to go after.
That’s when I realized jealousy wasn’t the enemy. It was information.
Most of us are taught to see jealousy as ugly or petty, especially in professional settings. We’re told to “just be happy for them.” And yes, emotional maturity matters — but maturity doesn’t mean denial. It means curiosity. Because buried inside jealousy is often a signpost. It’s your internal GPS trying to show you where you’ve been settling.
When someone else’s success stirs something in you, it’s rarely about them. It’s about the part of you that wants something similar but doesn’t yet believe you can have it.
Think about it. You don’t get jealous of things that don’t matter to you. You don’t envy someone who just won a hot dog eating contest or started a llama farm (unless that’s secretly your dream). You get jealous when you see someone doing what you want to do — but haven’t yet given yourself permission to try.
So instead of shaming yourself for the feeling, what if you treated jealousy as a clue?
When you feel that pang, pause and ask:
“What does this show me about what I really want?”
“Where am I playing small?”
“What fear is holding me back from moving toward this?”
That’s what was happening that day on LinkedIn. I wasn’t angry at her success — I was angry that I hadn’t been brave enough to chase my own. I wanted to lead. I wanted to use my voice. I wanted to step into bigger rooms. But fear kept me comfortable. So my subconscious found an easier outlet: envy.
Jealousy is often just a disguise for desire trapped under fear.
Once you see it that way, the emotion loses its sting. It becomes fuel. Instead of saying, “Why her?”, you start asking, “What is this showing me about where I need to grow?”
Here’s the truth: jealousy can be your greatest teacher if you stop running from it.
When you feel that spark of envy, you can use it as a mirror — not to compare yourself, but to clarify what matters to you. Maybe someone else’s success reminds you that you’ve been avoiding risk. Maybe it shows you a part of yourself you’ve been neglecting. Maybe it simply proves you’re capable of more than you’ve allowed yourself to believe.
Jealousy isn’t proof of lack. It’s proof of longing.
And longing is holy. It’s the space between who you are and who you’re becoming.
So the next time you scroll past someone living a life that makes you feel that little ache, don’t shove it down. Sit with it. Ask what it’s trying to tell you. Then take one step — even a small one — toward your own version of that life.
Because the truth is, jealousy doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re waking up. It’s showing you what your soul is ready for — if you’re willing to be brave enough to follow it.