and How to Break The Wound Persona
In my work, I have noticed something that I have had a hard time wrapping my head around. There are some people who just don't want to get better.
And, just as I love to do...I started researching...WHY? WHY would we all not want to heal?
Healing sounds beautiful, but it scares the hell out of a lot of people.
Because when you finally let go of the story that says "I’m broken," you also let go of your best excuses. You no longer get to hide behind what hurt you. You don’t get to play small. You don’t get to sit on the sidelines of your own life.
That’s what makes healing feel threatening. Because on the other side of healing? Accountability. Embodiment. Ownership. No more safety net made of suffering.
And here't the truthbomb —many people are far more comfortable living in the emotional chaos they know than stepping into the grounded clarity they don’t. Because once you’re healed, you have to live up to your potential. And that’s a lot more intimidating than staying stuck.
I know that I have just made some people really mad right now. But it is the truth. We are made to heal. Wounds are not supposed to be open forever. BUT...there's definitely a payoff to NOT healing or else everyone would do it...
Healing requires you to face the unknown. It demands that you feel what you’ve spent years avoiding. It forces you to meet the parts of yourself you buried to survive. That’s why people resist it—it’s not the pain that terrifies them. It’s who they’ll have to become without it.
Now, let’s talk about the thing almost nobody wants to admit: the Wound Persona.
Did you ever meet with someone (or maybe this someone is you) and the first thing they do is tell you about all of the problems in their life? Like, "I've suffered a lot, so I deserve special treatment..."
This is what happens when someone builds their entire identity around what broke them. They don’t just carry their pain—they perform it. They lead with it in conversations. They bond through it. They wear it like armor. At some point, the story of what happened becomes who they believe they are.
And even though it hurts, they cling to it. Because that wound gives them certainty. It gives them attention. It gives them moral high ground. It gives them a reason not to risk, not to change, not to be responsible.
This is the tricky part—because there are very real psychological and relational payoffs to staying in the wound. Maybe you get to be the one who suffered the most. Maybe you’ve used your pain to get special treatment or avoid things that scare you. Maybe you’ve just never met yourself outside the story of your suffering, so you don’t know who you’d be without it.
This isn’t about shame. This is about truth.
The Wound Persona gets you connection, but not intimacy. It gets you recognition, but not growth. It gets you a seat at the table, but it costs you your peace. And over time, it becomes a prison.
You weren’t meant to live there. Pain is a passage, not a permanent home. It was supposed to shape you—not swallow you.
But the longer you perform the Wound Persona, the more energy you give it. And the more you feed it, the harder it is to break free.
Healing starts when you tell the truth: this isn’t who I am, it’s just what happened to me.
You don’t owe your pain anything. You’re allowed to lay it down.
You are more than what hurt you—and it’s time to meet the version of you that’s been buried underneath the wound.
If this resonates with you or someone you know...stay tuned for the next part - which is coming in a few days. I will share with you...
Five Ways to Start Healing Your Wounds
If this is something you struggle with, you aren't alone. This is a difficult one to admit. I know. But, if you are ready to start working on releasing this persona, that is what I love helping with. Shoot me a message, visit TheHighLevelLife.com or just call me 830-252-1131.
In Gratitude,
Jen